By the time you read this, I might be packed for Disney.

I'm not packing right now.

I'm also not packing yesterday
or the day before or...
any other day this month.

Which is a problem, because we leave for Disneyland Saturday morning. Really, really early Saturday morning. At this point, we're all wearing whatever we can fashion from the leather seats and a swiss army knife. Either that, or shopping at The Disney Store when we arrive and running around like morons in our Donald Duck hats, complete with quacking bill.

I wish I could say I had an excuse, but I don't. I just get overwhelmed and decide I'd rather get mad at People magazine for posting a bad review for 2012. Not that I think it's a good movie, I'm sure it sucks. I just think it wouldn't hurt to give my boyfriend, John Cusack a break for once. Yes, I am looking at you People Magazine. Because Entertainment Weekly actually gave it a "B."

See how easy it is to forget the task at hand? OK, just... figure this out with me. We're traveling for 5 days total, 3 of which are at the park(s). So, we need... shirts, shorts, pants, sweats, hats, underwear, toiletries, shoes... times 6 people. Plus, TheHusband will want swim stuff in case we swim at the hotel. Except we won't. We also need to pack the medicine cabinet, because we don't stop for Swine Flu. Last year, TheTween ralphed in some sculptured topiaries and we just kept on going.

Side note: If your kid is nauseous in Adventureland, do NOT give him a Pineapple Whip from the Tiki Room. Blech. Foamy barf.

Oh. Also? We are traveling with another couple, and I don't need to tell you their names because here's what you need to know: Barbie and Ken. Only a lot nicer than you'd expect Barbie and Ken to be in real life. "Barbie" grew up in SoCal and knows D-Land like the back of her hand, so she and TheHusband will be running "Ken" and I through the park like cracking a whip. Not just any whip, those kind with the frayed tip that SNAP and spark in the air.

Good times. But let's add another layer. Barbie and Ken have two gorgeous elementary school kids. We have one preschooler (little legs, he'd better man-up); one kindergartener (afraid of her own shadow but freakishly attracted to Lilo and Stitch); one Tween who wants to take off on his own for the day (no); and a Teen who kind of spans all of the above. She could go either way on any given day.

And then? The ulitmate distraction?

That moronic ESPN Zone. TheHusband just lu-hoves sitting in there and soaking up the testosterone. He loves baseball, football, blah blah blah buffalo wings, etc. I hate that place. I feel like I'm in a casino, except all of the fun has been sucked out the air vents.

OK, by now you know. I'm just procrastinating again. I'm totally using you, Bloggies, and I'm sorry. I'm going to go pack now.

Or not.